minor annoyances

If annoyance was measurable, i mean, if it could be quantified, we should be able to see it graphed out. The scale could start somewhere like having to bite the tongue to keep from saying something. The high end of the scale would be more along the lines of beating someone to death with a crowbar.

We will just cover some minor ones here.

#1: England screwed up my dream. Every little boy wants to be a proud king when he grows up. If not that, close runner-up is to be a knight. Knights were the incarnation of purity, strength, courage and chivalry. In 1998, England screwed that up royally (pun intended) when they knighted Elton John. Thanks, Brits. I know that some times have changed, but come on.... this sissy?

not sitting at your round table, wus

#2: What England did to knighthood, the Nobel Committee did to the peace prize. In 2002, the Nobel peace went to former U.S. president, Jimmy Carter. What did he get the prise for? Decades of work seeking peaceful solutions and promoting social and economic justice. Negotiation. Jeez. What he should have gotten a peace prize for is the fact that no country would be willing to fight for him. Don't remember his name? There are US Historians that do not remember Jimmy Carter. He has some fame in crackpot websites for reporting a UFO once, but he did not do anything ! Hey, Nobel, i understand it must be tough finding what qualifies for a peace prize, but.... damn.

Honestly, if there were a Nobel Violence Prize, that is the one i would go after, but since it does not exist, i would have also tried for the award for physics. Which brings me to ...

#3: I am just smart enough in the realm of physics to enjoy cool science videos on nature channels, and pretty much keep up with them. However, i stink at math, so i guess the good old boys at the LHC will have to create a tiny black hole that will swallow the Earth without my help.

#4: My dogs are not happy unless they are doing something disgusting.

#5: I spent two years in the study of Japanese, and now i live in the Panhandle of Texas.

#6: The international sign of someone choking. Really ? Yes, really. This annoys the hell out of me.

translation for those who don't understand the universe: i am choking.

This is not a sign that you are choking. This what you #$@!! do when you're choking. Do we really need posters for this? Do we need them everywhere? I have a better idea, the new and improved sign of choking is turning your damn face purple. And while we are on this. Is this Universal? If the zeta reticuli aliens finally invade and enslave the human race, will one of them understand if i grab my throat? Will the space invader know the Universal sign and come Heimlich the damn hot dog chunk the #@!!! out of me? I guess i may never know. Unless, of course, Jimmy Carter could fill me in, because, you know, he is such a good freaking negotiator.